Weight

Originally Published on Medium - September 17, 2018

Am I something or nothing, who can decide
 Might figure it out if I could spill tears from my eyes
 There’s no way of knowing where any path leads
 The only thing to know is everyone bleeds
 
Not red and white, or red white and blue
 So prove to me how anyone is different from us
 The thoughts are there, the intent is good.
 But does trying to take on their weight inevitably weigh me down

I cant help the way I see the world
 Both realistic and idealistic
 It makes my life far from simplistic
 The world is bad, the world is good
 The problem is I see how the world could be
 But does trying to take on its weight inevitably weigh me down
 
Maybe the world knows whats up
 It handles the good with the bad
 Something I’ve never been good at; balance
 The world isnt black and white
 Its brown and beige and green and pink and purple
 If only my brain could see in technicolor
 The problems are complex, and never ending
 No one can fix all of them, not even me. 
 But do I instead just focus on me?

I want to make a difference, but theres so much to make
 The more I focus on me, the less focussed I feel
 What is happy anyway
 A rock or a hard place
 Is my happiness more important than anyone elses
 Does trying to take on the weight inevitably weigh me down?
 What do I want to do with my life, I have no idea
 But anything less than everything
 Feels like nothing